The Truth

Yeah sure, the truth hurts. But I'd honestly rather know the truth than not know anything at all, no matter how much it hurts me. The truth is just straight forward. You can't beat around the bush with it. Lying may be easier...at first. But once you have to cover up the lies with more and more, you're pretty much screwed. I say just tell the damn truth.

Music

My goodness I love music. It's just amazing. There's so many different styles and types that can relate to everyone. Whether you are just listening for the beat, lyrics, or the whole thing music is something everyone has a connection to. Each genre has something special of it's own. I like ALL types of music; classical, rock, hip/hop, oldies, rap, pop, techno, dub step...you name it and I have a favorite song from that genre. Music just speaks to something inside me that no person can. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. Music speaks to everyone. It's a big part of our lives. Music is life.

First Day

So today was my first day of school. Yikes. Already there's drama. People seriously need to grow up. First days are always the worst. You don't know anything, it's awkward, people are lost. It's a mess! But I have doubts about this year, Junior year. So much pressure, very little time. Sure it's exciting at first, you think you know everything...then it hits you. Everything seems foreign, and you're completely screwed. Pardon my language. But seriously! High school is a mess. More pressure, more materials, more expectations, more everything. Being a teenager now seems all fine and dandy to adults. They see us hang out and do nothing while we are at home. But once you open the bedroom door at midnight, we are feverishly working on this project or essay that has crazy and impossible requirements. You treat us like little kids, yet you expect us to act like adults? How is that right? Parents think we are lazy. They don't see us at school. Academics have changed over the years. We cram more into a year than should be allowed. Students work their butts off trying to stay above water. There is a heavy burden on our backs, and I don't just mean our backpacks. As young adults we are suppose to be the one to set examples for younger kids and impress the adults in our lives. We are the ones who will be in charge next. We have so much UNSEEN pressure in our lives. And we hide it well, with seclusion, parties, drinking, drugs. We want to seem like we can do anything, and forget that we are only human. As a teenager I understand how hard it is to function with parents, and teachers, and friends, and even society breathing down my neck. It's hard. I'm tired. Just let us try our best before you tell us it's not good enough.

Distractions

Well folks, looks like I'll be on here a lot more. I'm going to have lots of free time. So I'm going to try something out. I'm going to open my blog up more. Feel free to send me comments, or questions. I'll answer them or we can just talk. I may not be the best at giving advice but I'll give you my full attention and try to help best I can. So feel free to contact me on here and hopefully I get something from you guys.

Time

I have found everything said about time to be true. It's precious, fragile, and limited. We measure time by all sorts of ways. Seconds, minutes, hours, moments. And it's up to us to cherish every second and every moment; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Time is something we let slip by. We waste it on so much, and most of that is important stuff unfortunately. Work, jobs, errands; all things we need to do to sustain our life. Not everyone can go off and travel all the time, we still have duties, that take that time away. I just wish there was...more time. More time for everything, anything. Even a few measly seconds would do.

The Line

We have lines for everything. Lines to cross, lines not to cross, lines to follow, and lines to meet. Lines. And lots of them. Some are universal, others are personal. We all have our lines, our limits, certain things we just can't cross or have to cross. One line I recently discovered has to do with happiness. How far are you willing to go to make someone else happy? Would you compromise your own happiness? Do you cross the line from being happy to being...unhappy for someone else's sake? I crossed that line. It goes back to being a people pleaser. I had to make a compromise. We all do it. Cross our own line to do something for someone else. I don't get along with a certain type of people. But in order to make someone else happy, I kinda need to talk to these people. All while pretending to be happy and acting like I don't care about something that is driving me insane. You might be a little lost, I apologize. Let me (try to) explain. I get along with guys, less drama and problems. Girls are too...girly for me. But in order to make someone I care about happy, girls need to become my new BFF. Is it wrong to cross my own line? Who knows.

Help?

I don't even know what happened. Did I do something? Was it MY fault? I'm so confused. I was the mad one. You can't be mad. You have nothing to be mad about. I'm always there for you, day or night. Why can't that be reciprocal? I need help in understanding what happened. I'm so lost, especially without you. This was going to be a good week, not such a great start.

*sigh*

People Pleaser

I'm the type of person who will set aside my hopes and dreams to help you achieve yours. I'll drop everything just to help you. A good trait, or curse? I always set aside my needs for someone else, just so they are comfortable. My dreams? Forget them. If they don't fit into how you want things to be, I'll just toss them out the window. Want me to do something? Sure, I'll just forget about my future and help you with yours. My dreams and hopes and wants aren't important anymore. Everyone else is much more important than me, so I should really focus on them more. It's best for every one. Your life, your dreams, your future, it's greater than mine. I should just give up now. I'll never accomplish what I want to accomplish. Your welcome.

When Things Change

People always say that change is good. I find this to be completely false. Sure changing your hairstyle or clothes is good. Changing something important like the communication in a relationship is well, bad. We can't control everything that happens in our life or in the life of someone else that affects us. Maybe they see someone from their past and suddenly, it's like it went from summer to winter. Before, you were perfectly happy with how things were going. Then out of the blue lightning strikes and what you knew before is now gone. After awhile we start to get use to how things are, you're comfortable. But is that the problem? We get too comfortable with how things are that when change happens we have no idea how to handle it. Society has a focus on change though. It wants to expand and grow, change to fit the future. But somethings just shouldn't change. Like a simple conversation between two people. Where they laugh and joke and just enjoy each other. Why does that need to change? Because one little thing popped up and now one person is focused on something else. You're probably catching on now, yes something did happen in my life. And frankly I don't like it. Our past can haunt us, but there can be good things to remember about it. A walk down memory lane is never a bad thing. But letting it consume you and change how you treat someone else (in this case, me) then it . . well it hurts. Exes are exes and they are that for a reason. I'm fine with someone having a past, I do too. But when you don't show interest in what we have anymore, I get lost. Change sucks.

Sometimes

Sometimes, you just don't know what's going on. You think you do, because that's what they want you to think, but then things take a turn and you have no clue what's going on. Why is that? We as people are so misleading to each other, even if it's for the best of intentions. It's a sickness. It sucks when you don't know what's going on.

So . . .

I have been sitting here for hours the past couple days and I don't know what to write. I have no life lesson, experience, or even story to share. It's quite sad actually. But sometimes there just isn't anything to say.