Recently I have disappointed someone. I hate that. You all remember that "people pleaser" rant I did awhile back. But this time there's no fixing it. Sometimes the more you try to fix it the worse you'll make it, and you can't decide if it's worth it or maybe meant to be left alone. Then there's also the option of giving it time. Which doesn't work for us impatient people. Quick fixes don't always mean lasting results. It's like putting duct tape on your side view mirror. Sure it will hold for awhile but eventually you'll hit something and you'll really need to get it fixed.
Switching moods here, there are also times when you can't do all the work. All relationships involve give and take from both parties. Somehow, in this day and age, this idea is considered archaic. We are use to the easy fixes and temporary solutions. Once the first "solution" has given in, we call it quits.
Next is the apologies. Which everyone sucks at. You can be sincere all you want, but really, what do apologies accomplish? It is really hard to say "I'm sorry." I have no idea why it's so difficult, but it is. Then you have the person receiving the apology, which is equally as difficult. The reason being; forgiveness. Are you willing to forgive them for what they did? Is the apology going to make a difference with whatever kind of relationship you have? Will two words really fix everything?
Here are the answers: I don't know.
The secret to a real apology is terrifying. Most people shudder at the idea. It is not just being sincere and telling them what they want to hear. You have to let them know you understand what you did and then explain it. You have to ask how it made them feel and think back to when you have felt the same. You have to let down all of your walls and show them that you can be hurt the same way. Then, and only then, will you have truly begun the process of apologizing.
Now the secret to forgiveness is...tricky. Forgiving someone is truly a wonder in itself. Even I don't understand it completely. Maybe some metaphors will help. Having someone you know you can trust is like a puppy. They may accidentally bite you and pee on the carpet (not literally) but you know those are things you can work past. Those are the types of people you can forgive because you know they weren't trying to hurt you. Then there are the ones you never expected to hurt you. They are like cancer. Once you find out, it can be too late. Those are the people we can't forgive because all you feel is that they built everything on a lie. Then there are those who are like alcoholism. You feel you need them and you constantly make excuses for you and them and why you keep letting them back in. The only real solution is to cut them out for good.
I know I'm missing a lot, but I'm only 18. I shouldn't even know this much.
As usual, I covered more than one topic and it got a little messy. But hey, that's life.
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