I'm Upset

I hate feelings. They are just stupid. When you have feelings that means you have to feel them. And it sucks. Because when you're angry you feel all the things that come with anger and you can't stop it. I'd much rather have no feelings so I can go on and live my life in complete and utter stupidity. Unaware of what feelings can cause and become. Sure there are good feelings we have; love, happiness, care. But how long do those last? Not very long in my experience. But pain, hurt, loss...those, well they can last forever. Right now, I'm upset. I feel angry and sad and hurt and just completely stupid. And I can't help it. I think about something else but then my twisted and disturbed mind brings me back to these painful feelings. I can't escape them. It's like I'm unintentionally trying to torture myself. It's psychotic warfare with myself and my better half is losing. I'm just stuck here in this endless cycle, my two minds against each other. There's no end to the madness. I want to be happy and just laugh this off, but I'm not strong enough. My happy is just too weak.