Almost

It's almost that time when everyone starts reflecting on the past year. Regrets, hardships, accomplishments, and so on . . . I really don't like to do that. It depresses me. Another year of my life has flown bye, and now I'm trying to prepare for the next one! There's no time to dilly dally on the past.  Sure I may look back on a few good things that may have happened,  but totally forget the bad. I simply accept what comes my way in the new year and learn to deal with it; some things may be more difficult than others, but the job usually gets done. 2013 is fast approaching and we should all be ready, there's no point in trying to stop it.

Future

Such a scary word right now. It seems far away, but in reality it's so damn close. I'm going to be in COLLEGE soon. Scary. I'm almost an adult. I'll need to make real life choices, with real life consequences. Then there's the whole family part of it. I'm so use to being with one, but being out on my own seems so rewarding. I don't know what to do. When we are younger we have this sense of direction and we are so stubborn and sure about our choices. Where does all that go? Surely it gets lots in that transition from child to confused teen. I miss being so sure of myself. The only thing I have to cling onto is my imagination. But being an adult with a child's imagination puts you in your own catagory. We live in our own world and that can cause conflict with the real world around us and the people in it. When I look at my life now there's just an expansive, foggy place. It's nowhere. It's just an abyss and I'm suppose to go through with it without a flashlight. I wish my mom could take my hand and direct me in the right direction. But there isn't one! And that's the terrifying part. There is no right or wrong choice, it's just one or the other. When I was five the world was so black and white. Everything was right or wrong. Mom's way or the bad way. But now, it's like I've acquired these glasses that only allow me to see gray. Gray in every direction. I have to make my own right and wrong. It's all up to me.

Challenges

It seems like we don't challenge our brains anymore. I don't mean with useless math questions or some scientific experiment. I mean real stuff that makes you think. No one asks us questions we are afraid to answer. We don't expand our brains to full capacity. We need to read more, think more, try and understand ourselves. I dare you all to read a book that seems too confusing for you. I dare you to go for a walk and think about why certain things make you feel a certain way. Be selfish and think only about you. Because that is really all you need to understand. If you meet someone who understands them self, then you can understand each other.

And So It Begins

Ahhh . . . Do you feel that? The cool breeze on your face, fuzzy socks on your feet, and a cup full of hot apple cider. Nothing beats this time of year. Bundling up. Layer upon layer of clothing. All my girl friends HATE the cold. It messes up their hair, they can't wear that cute shirt they bought. I could care less. Give me sweats, or give me death! I love how the cold freezes my eyelashes together and makes my nose run. I love getting soaked shoes after a big storm and slipping on my comfy slippers after a long day. Sitting by the fire and watching cartoons. All of that is what makes life tolerable. Knowing that this time of year is the most magical and perfect. I could drone on for days about how much I love this time of year. It just feels like everything is coming together. Reflecting on the past year and realizing it wasn't all that bad. Looking forward to the new year and all it has in store. I'm just happy right now. I like being happy. Do you?