Starting over with a new relationship is terrifying and satisfying all at once. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is, romantic or friendly, you still have to start from that dreaded square one. There is no denying that it's more comfortable when someone already knows your darkest secrets and most embarrassing moments. Starting over means you have to relive all the big moments of your life again, including the unpleasant ones. Then there's the issue of timing. And like they say, timing is everything. When is the right time to bring up your past? It's almost impossible to answer that question with an answer that satisfies everyone. Some people believe it's best to just get it all out in the open right away so you have more time to experience life with each other. There's also the option of waiting until you both feel comfortable vomiting out your life story to each other. And lastly, there's the "just wait for the right moment" approach. Each of these ways has its pros and cons. If you want to start off your relationship by just laying everything out in the beginning you don't have those lingering questions as your relationship progresses because you have already shared with each other. BUT, you risk scaring each other by revealing too much too soon. Waiting until you are both comfortable with having that conversation is a mature approach and makes the most sense. But you risk over thinking it and maybe even rehearsing what you'll say making it less of a weight lifting experience. The last choice gives you time to learn about each other in a natural way and let everything take it's own course. At the same time, waiting for the right moment makes you wonder, what exactly IS the right moment?
On top of all that, you're dealing with your personal vulnerability. In order for this person to get to know you, you have to let your walls down. Easier said than done. Letting yourself express your feelings is almost crippling. There's a saying that goes something like- if it's the right person it will be easy to let your guard down. I call BS. It's never easy to willingly be vulnerable. It takes a lot of mental preparation.
Enough with the scary stuff. New beginnings also means you get a fresh start. Whatever mistakes you made before are not going to be held against you. You get to take your knowledge with you and move on. New is exciting! There's endless possibilities. It is hard to fully express what it feels like to have this new start unless you've experienced it before. But this "newness" will eventually become comfortable. I'm not saying it gets boring, but sometimes it does. But don't despair my friends! There is still more new things to experience even if you're comfortable in your relationship. You get to do NEW things TOGETHER. Isn't that amazing? You have someone to share experiences and adventures with.
Starting over is scary. But so is doing anything else you've never done before.
Oh, and one last thing, it's great to be back!
On top of all that, you're dealing with your personal vulnerability. In order for this person to get to know you, you have to let your walls down. Easier said than done. Letting yourself express your feelings is almost crippling. There's a saying that goes something like- if it's the right person it will be easy to let your guard down. I call BS. It's never easy to willingly be vulnerable. It takes a lot of mental preparation.
Enough with the scary stuff. New beginnings also means you get a fresh start. Whatever mistakes you made before are not going to be held against you. You get to take your knowledge with you and move on. New is exciting! There's endless possibilities. It is hard to fully express what it feels like to have this new start unless you've experienced it before. But this "newness" will eventually become comfortable. I'm not saying it gets boring, but sometimes it does. But don't despair my friends! There is still more new things to experience even if you're comfortable in your relationship. You get to do NEW things TOGETHER. Isn't that amazing? You have someone to share experiences and adventures with.
Starting over is scary. But so is doing anything else you've never done before.
Oh, and one last thing, it's great to be back!
