Sitting Here In The Dark

As I sit here in my swivel chair, elbows propped up on my desk, hands clasped under my chin. As I sit here thinking, in the dark with only the gentle glow of the computer monitor, eyes closed, lights off, the quiet hum of the fan. I sit here and I just wonder. I think. I postulate. I ponder. I'm just sitting here in the dark and letting my brain run free. It's jumping around from place to place. Past, present, future. I think about something and right as I come to a realization, my brain yanks it away and I move on to my next thought. But through all this mess, and clutter and dysfunctional unorganized disaster, I find things. Things that are repressed or that were just simply lost in the hustle and bustle of my life. Stuff I rarely go back to, certain memories tossed away to the side. My life is literally flashing before my eyes right now and I can't seem to hold onto or remember any of it. It's all blur. And it's strange how all this thinking came to be about. The clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy, who knew.